THE CODE

BB Into Action, p.84   

Love and tolerance of others is our code.

This is the core message in the Big Book and many years ago I signed up to the way of living suggested in its pages.

A good friend of mine in recovery CHALLENGED me when said "Shay I don't suspect you have ever loved anyone in your life....... and I am not talking to you about all that romantic horseshit either"

He then set me on a journey to understand what it means to "Love"

Here is where it took me

Corinthians 13 -New International Version

13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

and this 

Love

Is there someone in your life whose love you desire? Do you want to be important to this person, to be special and make a difference in his or her life. Do you want this person to care for you and be concerned for you in a special way.

If you do then open your eyes and see that you might be foolishly inviting  others to reserve you for themselves, to restrict your freedom for their benefit, to control your behaviour, growth and development to serve their interests.

You may be allowing this other person to say “if you want to be special to me you have to meet my conditions, because the moment you cease to live up to my expectations, you will cease to be special. 

So pause now and ask yourself is it worth paying so much for so little.

Now might be a time to examine the false belief that without this person you can not live or be happy

Perhaps  we could encourage you to go home and say this to this person whose special love you want and also ask them if they are willing to say this to you.

Can you say?:

I leave you free, to be yourself, to think your thoughts, to indulge your tastes, to follow your inclinations, to behave in ways that you decide are to your liking.

When you say this you are going to observe one of two things.  

a) Either your heart will resist these words and you will have to acknowledge,  clinging and exploitative motives............

OR  

b) you will say and pronounce the words sincerely, and in that very instance all control, manipulation, exploitation, possessiveness and jealousy will drop.

That is love!

THE INVITATION

Lovely..................

THE INVITATION
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.I want to know if you can see beauty even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

A REDISCOVERY OF LIFE

A formula for true happiness...........if you want it.

To "FEARLESSLY GO" that is the state in which I
want to live the rest of my life

This man talks of such things

There are three more Youtube clips from this workshop
Check them out if you wish.

AWARENESS AWARENESS AWARENESS

"Waking up"

Death of the ego.

Where suffering comes from.

Freedom and happiness and

Who is "I" rather than "ME"

This sequence of you tube clips made by Father Anthony de Mello a Jesuit priest who challenged the dogma of the church and who subsequently died in suspicious circumstances is a

 "Profound life changer from which there is no return."

Just love this poem:

The Touch of the Masters Hand

Twas battered and scarred, and the auctioneer
thought it scarcely worth his while to waste much time on the old violin,
but held it up with a smile; "What am I bidden, good folks," he cried,
"Who'll start the bidding for me?" "A dollar, a dollar"; then two!" "Only
two? Two dollars, and who'll make it three? Three dollars, once; three
dollars twice; going for three.." But no, from the room, far back, a
gray-haired man came forward and picked up the bow; Then, wiping the dust
from the old violin, and tightening the loose strings, he played a melody
pure and sweet as caroling angel sings.

The music ceased, and the auctioneer, with a voice that was quiet and low,
said; "What am I bid for the old violin?" And he held it up with the bow.
A thousand dollars, and who'll make it two? Two thousand! And who'll make
it three? Three thousand, once, three thousand, twice, and going and
gone," said he. The people cheered, but some of them cried, "We do not
quite understnad what changed its worth." Swift came the reply: "The touch
of a master's hand."

And many a man with life out of tune, and battered and scarred with sin,
Is auctioned cheap to the thoughtless crowd, much like the old violin, A
"mess of pottage," a glass of wine; a game - and he travels on. "He is
going" once, and "going twice, He's going and almost gone." But the Master
comes, and the foolish crowd never can quite understand the worth of a soul
and the change that's wrought by the touch of the Master's hand.

Myra 'Brooks' Welch

TWO WOLVES

Two Wolves - A Cherokee Parable

An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life...

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.
"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

"One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.

"The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

"This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,
"Which wolf will win?"

The old chief simply replied,
"The one you feed."
~Author Unknown

HOLD FAST by Mercy Me

RECOVERY VIDEO

Nothing has worked so effectively, for so many people,
for so long. There is a way out of active addiction and it
lies in the power that is to be found when one addict or
alcoholic helps another by sharing his or her experience
strength and hope in recovery.

For me the "only game in town" is 12 Step recovery.
I tried pretty much everything else and none of it came
close.

This is a really hopeful video set to a great track.